The Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker! is the twenty-first episode of Season 3.
March 15 is the day that every child in Dimmsdale Elementary School fears: the day where Mr. Crocker is at his meanest, and the reason to his extreme unhappiness remain a mystery, so Timmy uses the Time Scooter to go back to Crocker's childhood to find out why and try to fix it. Timmy finds a shocking secret of Crocker's unhappiness: an incident involving fairies.
Outside Dimmsdale Elementary School in the playground, Chester and A.J. are teeter-tottering when Timmy runs over to them in a panic telling them it is March 15. Chester dons military garb and announces this on a loudspeaker, causing all the kids in the school to scatter. Tad and Chad blast off with rocket packs while Sanjay hides in a tree. Timmy jumps into the bush near the tree while Cosmo and Wanda appear nearby disguised as squirrels. They ponder what March 15 means; Cosmo believes it's "Be kind to squirrels day", but Timmy tells him that "every kid knows that March 15 is when Mr. Crocker is at his meanest". Cosmo and Wanda duck behind the tree when A.J. appears with a tracking device, in which he inserts a piece of Mr. Crocker's hair. Timmy grabs the tracking device and sees from a radar detector that Mr. Crocker is approaching fast.
At that moment, a beat up black van with the license plate "FAIRIES" comes to a screeching halt in the school parking lot. Out steps Mr. Crocker dropping a number of weapons and traps (and a jack in the box) at his feet. A.J. screams for everyone to run for the safety of the U.S. education system and all the kids run toward the school. Wanda stays behind with Cosmo, who refuses to move until he gets his nuts. Cosmo is stepped on and flattened by Mr. Crocker as he marches toward the school. Inside Mr. Crocker's class, all of the students are in fear. Mr. Crocker screams for the students to put their heads down and places a magnet under Chester's desk; the magnetic attraction to his braces causes Chester's teeth to go through the desk. Crocker then turns to A.J. and asks him "If a tree falls in the forest but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" causing A.J. to break down because he cannot give an answer. Crocker turns to Timmy, and because Timmy is not smart enough for a rhetorical question, and his teeth are not bad enough for a magnet, Crocker puts a dunce cap on Timmy and makes him sit on a stool surrounded by rabid dogs.
Timmy asks Crocker why he is doing this to them, to which Crocker responds with questions of his own: Why is he still a miserable school teacher, and why doesn't his tracking device every find him fairy godparents? A.J. explains that Crocker's "tracking device" is an egg beater and not DNA tracking device, but Crocker silences him with another rhetorical question, ("What is the sound of one hand clapping?") causing half of A.J.'s head to flatten. Crocker hollers the final question—why the things he wishes for do not become reality—in Timmy's face, before leaving the class room and slamming the door. Timmy looks at the rabid dogs surrounding him, and his miserable friends, and discusses with his squirrel-disguised fairies nearby on the windowsill on why Crocker is so mean. Timmy wants to find out, but needs a way to get rid of the dogs first, so he entices them to chase Cosmo and Wanda. Timmy struts out of Crocker's class room, and makes his way to Crocker's House. Cosmo and Wanda poof themselves up as trash cans and Timmy hides behind them as Crocker screeches up into the drive way in his van. While Crocker stumbles out of his van and into his house, Timmy decides to get a better look with Cosmo and Wanda by poofing them all into hummingbirds.
Mr. Crocker mutters about his stupid two-bit room, van, and life. His mother comes into his room saying that she baked his favorite stupid two bit dessert, a cake with "Happy March 15" written in icing on it. Crocker roars in anger, and his mother tells him he was just trying to cheer him up and that he should go back to being the happy boy he used to be. Mr. Crocker tells her that he cannot even remember a time in his life that he was happy, and slaps the cake away from his mother, causing it to splatter in his face. Timmy watches this from outside the window in hummingbird form, while Cosmo wonders why he does so much more sucking than humming as a hummingbird. Timmy notices that Crocker's mother said there was a time in his life when he was happy, but Crocker cannot remember it. Inside the house, Crocker wipes the cake off his face, but slips on more of it on the floor. Timmy decides to go back in time to learn more about what happened to Mr. Crocker that made him so mean. Cosmo asks him why he would help his worst enemy, to which Timmy replies that if he changed things for the better, he would stop tormenting him and the other kids. Timmy wishes up the Time Scooter, and also takes A.J.'s Crocker Tracker with him so he can easily find Crocker in any time period. Timmy hops onto the time scooter, and sets the time scooter to travel backward ten years.
Timmy travels back to 1992 and arrives right outside his home, just as it is first being purchased by Mr. and Mrs. Turner. Wanda notes that Mrs. Turner is pregnant with Timmy. Mr. Turner opens up a moving truck filled with girl's toys, and a pink girl's hat, and says that he would be crushed if their child turned out to be a boy. As Mr. Turner tosses away the "For Sale" sign outside his home, it lands in the yard next door. Mr. and Mrs. Dinkleberg pull up to the home in a shiny sports car, remarking that the home is perfect for them because it is nicer and less expensive than the Turner's house. Mr. Turner sees this, and growls Dinkleberg's name in anger. While Timmy is watching all this, Crocker's black van speeds by him. Timmy wishes up spy goggles and uses them to eavesdrop on Crocker. During his insane ranting, Crocker gets into a car accident with Geraldine Waxelplax, who tells him she is now his boss at the elementary school. When she asks Crocker how he expects to pay for the car accident damages, he replies he will be able to fix it as soon as he finds a fairy, before laughing crazily and bouncing into the school on his head. Timmy realizes that Crocker is still fairy obsessed, and that he must go back further in time to find the answer.
Using the time scooter again, Timmy travels back to 1982 and arrives in front of Dimmsdale University, moments after a familiar looking DeLorean leaves the same spot. Timmy notes that the entire decade is a fashion disaster, and that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his normal clothes, so Cosmo and Wanda poof him up some "stylish" 80's clothes so he would blend in. Nearby, a young Geraldine Waxelplax questions young adult Crocker on why Dimmsdale University seems to be a buzz with "big news" to be announced in the auditorium. Crocker tells her he is finally ready to share his discovery with the world. Mr. Turner, working as a janitor at the university, follows them into the auditorium since he expects a big mess to follow the big news. Inside the auditorium, Mr. Turner spots his future wife with Sheldon Dinkleberg and growls at him. Also inside the auditorium are scientists and military men carrying big checks and anticipating Crocker's announcement. Chet Ubetcha is also on the scene, and is shown to be much taller than normal, until he tries to use a bulky 80's cellphone and the radiation from it shrinks him to his usual short height. Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda also sit in the auditorium and watch.
Crocker takes the podium, and asks the audience if they would like anything they want to magically appear whenever they wanted it. Everyone eagerly shouts yes, until Crocker reveals that it could be done with "FAIRY GODPARENTS!", that he has nearly discovered proof they float among us, and that painful monitoring collars should be placed on every child so that their fairies could be captured. The audience laughs Mr. Crocker off the stage, while Geraldine cries because she realizes she was in love with a psychotic moron. The scientists and generals refuse to give their checks to Crocker, and instead notice Dinkleberg's parachute pants and decide to invest in those instead. Dinkleberg becomes rich, and immediately dumps Mrs. Turner. She cries for a moment before Mr. Turner comes over and offers to mop up her tears, and they immediately fall in love. Timmy overhears Mr. Crocker remark that today was the second worst day of his life, and decides that he must travel back in time further to find the first. Using the time scooter, Timmy says they must travel back to Crocker's childhood.
Timmy arrives in 1972, and everything around him looks colorful and funky. Timmy says that he will need 70's clothes to blend in, so Cosmo and Wanda simply poof up a smiley face that appears on Timmy's pink shirt. With that ordeal out of the way, Timmy says they must now find the miserable child that will grow up to be the miserable adult known as Mr. Crocker. Cosmo says he knows where he is, and poofs them to Dimmsdale Elementary School. In the schoolyard, Timmy spots young Denzel Crocker impressing his fellow students with a yo-yo. Timmy is surprised that Cosmo was actually right for once, and Cosmo says "One in a row, a new record!". Wanda remarks she finds something familiar about Denzel, but cannot place it. Timmy sees his mother as a kid, being pushed by young Sheldon Dinkleberg on a swing. Mr. Turner skates by on a skateboard and growls his first known "Dinkleberg!" (or precisely, "Sheldon!"), but becomes distracted by Timmy calling his nickname ("Dad") and skates in front of a truck. He is rescued at the last moment by Denzel Crocker, who was using a pink soap box racer and wearing a green helmet. Nanette Ubetcha, a female news reporter closely resembling Chet Ubetcha, interviews Denzel on his heroics, and says that tomorrow (March 15) is "Denzel Crocker Day". Crocker says that he cannot wait to go home and tell his home.
Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda poof themselves to Crocker's childhood house, the same one he lives in the present, although it is in much nicer condition. There, Denzel runs up to his mother to tell him the news, but she is leaving for her job at the 8-Track factory, "the music delivery system of the future", and has left Denzel under the care of his babysitter, Vic, who immediately sends him to bed. Timmy and his fairies, disguised as hummingbirds, watching Crocker in his room. There, Timmy notices that Crocker has an inattentive parent, an evil babysitter, and pink and green pet parrots. Timmy finally realizes that Crocker must have... "FAIRY GODPARENTS!". He tells his fairies to hit him if he ever did that again. Inside Crocker's room, his parrots poof into 1970's Cosmo and Wanda, who are dressed like hippies. Timmy grabs his fairies by the throat and pulls them aside. They poof back to their normal forms in Crocker's yard, and there, Timmy asks his fairies what they are doing being Crocker's fairies thirty years ago. Cosmo and Wanda both say that they cannot remember a thing. Timmy does not understand why Crocker has FAIRY GODPARENTS, and Cosmo and Wanda smack him for spazzing out like Crocker like he had asked. Wanda says that all she can remember is that March 15, 1972 is the worst day ever. Timmy says that Crocker must have done something to lose Cosmo and Wanda, but Wanda dismissed that as ridiculous because "all fairies are masters of disguise"... until they see the 1970s counterpart Cosmo idiotically flying around in plain sight. Timmy sarcastically asks who must have blown Crocker's secret.
The next morning, Timmy watches Crocker outside in a green tent. He uses Wanda as binoculars to see that Crocker's mother will not even attend his dedicated celebration at Dimmsdale City Hall because she has to work at the roller disco. Crocker gets teary eyed and walks off, but runs into Timmy and notices his green and pink animals. Timmy follows Crocker to City Hall, where a crowd of people have gathered in a fanfare for Denzel Crocker. The Mayor of Dimmsdale, sporting an afro, introduces Crocker, who has 70's Cosmo and Wanda poof up a long speech for him. 70's Wanda leaves to get some granola to celebrate, but tells 70's Cosmo not to do anything stupid. 70's Cosmo eyes a nearby box of fireworks, trying his best to resist his stupidity impulse. As Crocker begins to speak about how he was born in a log cabin ten years ago, Timmy and his dog-disguised fairies poof up nearby. Wanda says that this is where Crocker loses his fairies, and that it is all coming back to her now. Timmy tells her to kill the power while he gets Crocker away from the microphone. Cosmo asks what he is to do, and Wanda and Timmy holler at him to not do anything stupid. Cosmo poofs up a jack in the box to try to resist his stupidity impulse, but it is not working well.
As Crocker finishes his speech, he says that he wants a pony. 70's Cosmo flies onto his head and says into the microphone "Who needs a pony when you can have...", but Timmy jumps onto the stage and knocks Crocker and 70's Cosmo off of it moments before the secret is spilled. Wanda kills the power nearby, and the microphones are turned off. Crocker questions Timmy angrily how and why he keeps finding him, and Timmy tells him he found him with the DNA Tracker. Crocker grabs the device and finds it astounding, while Timmy explains to Crocker that he is from the future and is trying to stop Crocker from losing his fairy godparents. Just as Timmy says "fairy godparents" though, present Cosmo poofs near the power controls and turns the microphones back on. Fairy Godparents echoes on the loudspeakers, and 70's Cosmo says to all the people "that is absurd, if I was a fairy I'd look like this!" and poofs into his fairy form in front of all the people, with a large "I'm a fairy godparent" sign display above him to boot. The people gasp and mutter among themselves, aware now that fairies exist. Crocker screams at Timmy if he knew what he just did, who cries and tells Crocker he was only trying to prevent it.
The ground begins to shake and the sky turns purple, with a large swirling cloud appearing above City Hall. Jorgen Von Strangle's voice thunders in and tells Denzel Crocker that he has revealed his secret, as a large book of Da Rules falls from the clouds and opens up in front of Crocker. He hollers that it was a mistake, and turns to notice Timmy and his fairies poofing away. Crocker yells that the other kid has fairies too, but nobody listens. Several fairies dressed like agents, along with a 70's version of Jorgen Von Strangle, appear from the sky and wipe everyone's minds using a memory wiper. 70's Cosmo grabs one of the devices, wondering what it does, and ends up wiping his and 70's Wanda's memories. Crocker grabs a piece of 70's Cosmo's hair and puts it into the DNA Tracker he had taken from Timmy earlier, allowing him to track Cosmo, and writes "FAIRY GODPARENTS EXIST!" on the back of the tracker. 70's Jorgen then wipes Crocker's memories, but Crocker manages to resist, so the effect must be done multiple times, causing Crocker to get a hunched back, lose most of his hair, and messes up his teeth. Then, the 70's Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen, along with the other fairy agents and the giant rule book, ascend back into the sky and everything flashes back to normal.
The crowd, returning to its senses, ponders what they are doing at City Hall. They notice all the Denzel Crocker signs, and because they are not celebrating after all, they must be an angry mob after Crocker. The crowd grabs pitchforks and torches, and then chases Crocker off the scene. Timmy appears from behind the bushes with Cosmo and Wanda, and quips that his plan did not work out the way he had hoped, so he must go back to March 14 to stop everything. Before Timmy can even take a few steps however, Jorgen von Strangle's 1970's counterpart lands his giant wand hard in front of him and stops Timmy and his fairies from going anywhere. Both Jorgens had discussed Timmy's meddling in that era, which is because they think it was thanks to his interfering with Crocker by making him reveal Cosmo and Wanda's 1970's counterparts to the crowd, and they decided to ban him from ever returning to the month of March in 1972. However, 1970's Jorgen states to Timmy that he may return to any other month of that year, as long as he does not interfere with the election of "President" McGovern. Both Jorgens then zap Timmy and his fairies with their wands, sending them back to the present. Then, the Jorgens glance at each other and say "Disco?" "With myself?" "OUTRAGEOUS!", before poofing themselves into a disco dance hall and dancing away disco style. Nearby, Crocker narrowly avoids the angry mob by hiding in a bush, and then notices the words he scribbled onto the DNA Tracker, "Fairy Godparents Exist!". Crocker screams his first "FAIRIES!" as a montage of Crocker's life up until the present is shown in a picture book, showing him using the DNA Tracker to snoop around his school, high school, and then school as a teacher, resulting in getting chased away by his peers every time.
As the montage of Crocker's life finishes, Timmy and his fairies sit in his room with the picture book on Crocker's life. Wanda shrugs and says "Happy March 15?", and Cosmo tells Timmy that at least he helped give Crocker a lifelong hobby. Timmy hears a stick break outside, and shushes his fairies. He then goes to his window, and spots Crocker snooping around his yard with the DNA Tracker. Crocker shouts that there are fairies about, and Timmy fearfully realizes that he had left the DNA Tracker in Crocker's hands. Luckily, Crocker is chased away by the angry mob again, now consisting of a bunch of elderly people. Crocker appears after the black out, vowing to one day catch a fairy and that they cannot hide from him forever, but Cosmo shoots a wand into Crocker's butt and chases him off, saying "Blah blah blah blah blah!" as he floats by as the episode ends there.
"This device says there are fairies about!"
"I know fairies EXIST! And some day, I'm gonna CATCH ONE! They can't hide from me forever!"