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Cosmo: Giant nagging goldfish dead ahead, sir!
Wanda: How many times have I told you, I don't nag!
Cosmo: Nagging!
Timmy: Fire one!

Mrs. Turner: Timmy? What was that noise?
Timmy Turner: ...it wasn't a torpedo? (pushes torpedo shell behind him)
Mrs. Turner: Timmy Turner, I sent you up here to clean your room, just wait until your father gets...
Mr. Turner: ...home early? Did I hear my name being used threateningly?

Mr. Turner: (to his wife) Oh man, you're so beautiful when you're angry!
Mrs. Turner: Oh, honey, and you're beautiful when you're telling me I'm beautiful and angry! I've completely forgotten my rage towards Timmy!

Timmy: Wow, did you see that? When Dad got all mushy, Mom forgot how angry she was!
Wanda: And speaking of angry, which of you idiots fired a torpedo at me?
(Cosmo raises his wand and poofs up gifts and balloons for Wanda)
Wanda: Oh Cosmo, you're so romantic! I've completely forgotten my rage toward Timmy and/or Cosmo!

(to a pianist that plays dramatic music when she is introduced)
Vicky: STOP FOLLOWING ME!

Timmy: Don't I have a choice in this?
Vicky: You have two choices.... Clean every toilet in this house, or... DRINK OUT OF THEM!

(Cosmo and Wanda are toilet cleaning products)
Cosmo: Hey, why am I the cleanser? You're the abrasive one!
(Timmy grabs Wanda and uses her to scrub the toilet)
Cosmo: Oh no, our relationship is in the toilet!

Vicky: Wow, there is nothing to distract me from my rage! Hahaha!

Timmy: That's it! I wish Vicky had a boyfriend... but not just any boyfriend, the perfect boyfriend for Vicky, so she'll be too distracted to be mean anymore!

(Vicky answers the front door)
Vicky: Who are you and what do you want?
Ricky: Hi, I'm Ricky. I'm selling magazines door to door so I can pay my way through medical school, and I saw this sign that said cute girl wants hot fresh magazines.
Vicky: But these are the Turners' magazines! ...Hey, you stole these magazines out of the Turner's mailbox, and are trying to sell them to me to make a quick buck! (hearts form) ...and I thought you were just a pretty face!

Timmy: Hey, what's going on?
Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) Go to bed...
(They look at each other, and then back to Timmy)
Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) TWERP!
(They look at each other again)
Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) Where have you been all my life?

Mr. Turner: Sooo, ready for more dancing?
Mrs. Turner: We've danced in every room in this house, and we can't go out and dance unless Vicky babysits. Where could she be?
Timmy: Out having a musical montage with her new boyfriend Ricky?
Mr. Turner: Ooh, I've got an idea! Why don't they montage at our house! We can pay them double!
Timmy: Uh-oh.
Ricky: (at front door with Vicky) Did someone say... double?

Mr. Turner: Ooh, sweet! With two babysitters we can get down with our bad selves twice as long! CAN I GET A WITNESS?

Timmy: Man that was one tough montage. This is not what I wanted to happen. I've doubled the pain!
Cosmo: But now you've got a promising career as a footstool!
Timmy: I wish they would break up!
Wanda: Timmy, you know Da Rules! We can't break up true love, and they're in love now!
Timmy: I didn't want love! I wanted distracting romance!
Cosmo: Ahh! Where's a torpedo when you need one?
Timmy: You don't even know if it is true love! What if this is just fake teen love?
Wanda: Then we can totally rip it apart! But you're going to have to prove it!
Timmy: There's only one thing to do! We've got to prove it's not true love, which means it's time for... a stakeout montage!

(Ricky and Vicky are arm wrestling)
Ricky: Cupcakeface, you do a lot of babysitting, right?
Vicky: I sure do, sweetheart!
Ricky: So you must have a lot of extra money, right nuzzleneck?
Vicky: I sure do, lovebucket!
Ricky: So, if you were going to, oh, I don't know, pick four consecutive numbers for your secret bank code, what would they be?
Vicky: Something simple like zero, zero, zero, zero, babydoll puppy pie!
Ricky: (throws Vicky to hard to the ground) Well, puddin' arms, I have to run to the bank. But not just any bank. Which bank do you go to?
Vicky: Dimmsdale National!
Ricky: Cool! (steals items from Vicky's house) I'm just gonna borrow this stuff to get into the bank with. See ya!

Timmy: See? Ricky's not really in love with Vicky... just her money! There's no way this is true love! I wish they were apart!
(Wanda raises her wand, but the magic farts out)
Wanda: But Vicky's still in love with him! There's nothing we can do.
Timmy: Then I have to break them up myself. There's got to be something else I can use to break up Vicky and Ricky's relationship. TO THE INTERNET!

Timmy: (typing Ricky's online dating profile) "Single red-headed teen male seeks RICH mate with TONS of MONEY" ...Now lets sit back and watch the flood of love-starved replies!
Computer: (displaying zero replies) You've got nothing.
Cosmo: So that's what a reply looks like!
Wanda: Timmy, you have to make Ricky sound attractive to somebody other than Vicky! Try this! (types) "SENSITIVE single red-headed teen male seeks RICH MATE with TONS of MONEY WHO LOVES SHOPPING, EMOTION, AND CATS as much as I do."
Timmy: What? That's stupid! That'll never...
Computer: You've got tons of mail. (computer then displays about a million replies)
Cosmo: Woah! Look at all the rich girls! (Wanda angrily glares at Cosmo) Uhhh...you know for Ricky.

Dolores-Day: (young beautiful blond woman is her profile picture) Hiya, handsome. I've got teen beauty pageant millions, so if you like money, and lots of it, let's get married!

(Ricky has Vicky with her eyes closed as he steals more of her money)
Vicky: You have a surprise for me, peach pie? What is it?
Ricky: It's something REALLY special!
Timmy: (off-screen) HEY RIICCCCKKKKKY!!!!! I'm having trouble lifting my really heavy piggy bank!
Ricky: (to Vicky) I'll be right back, fudge face!
Vicky: I'll be counting the moments!

Ricky: Piggy bank, huh?
Timmy: Check this out!
Ricky: (reading computer screen) "Teen beauty pageant millions"? Wow! Suddenly I'm in love all over again! And by all over again, I mean for the first time!
Dolores-Day: Click on the "I DO" button to marry me, and my millions will be yours!
Ricky: Done and done! (presses I DO button on keyboard)
Computer: You've got commitment! I now pronounce you husband and wife!

Vicky: One kid in pain, two kids in pain, three kids in pain, four kids in pain, five kids in pain, six kids in pain...
(Ricky runs past her)
Vicky: Sugar pants! Feel like another rousing game of "Hide My Cash"?
Ricky: (snatches Vicky's money) ...Yeah, with my new wife, who is way richer than you!
(Ricky leaps over to the front door)
Ricky: So long, Valerie!
Vicky: It's Vicky.
Ricky: Whatever!

Ricky: Hi Dolores, I'm Ricky, your new rich husband! I'm ready for my money!
Dolores-Day Crocker: And I'm ready for my first married kiss! Bring it on, candy lips!
Ricky: (recoils) Ahh! You're not a teen beauty queen, you're an old hag! ...Well, at least you're rich.
Dolores: Wrong again! I spend my money on prune juice and blood transfusions!
Ricky: WHAT!?
Dolores: ...and, meet your new step son!
Denzel Crocker: Papa! Can I have my allowance now? (leaps into Ricky's arms) And a horsey ride on your knee?
Ricky: YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Dolores: To the blood bank! (drives off)

Vicky: Ricky! My one true love! Come back! RICKY! DON'T LOSE MY NUMBER! YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL NOBODY ELSE! SEND IT OFF IN A LETTER TO YOURSELF!

Wanda: Wow! You did it! You broke them up... but the bad news is now there's nothing to distract Vicky's rage!
Timmy: Oh well, it can't be that bad!
Vicky: GET BACK HERE TWERP! (picks up and throws a van)
Cosmo: Don't just sit there like a footstool, RUN!

Mrs. Turner: Wait a minute, I'm furious at Timmy!


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