Cosmo: What are you watching, sport?
Timmy: The Legend of the Dimmsdale Sewer Gator, it's violent and educational, but mostly violent. Yay, violence!

Mrs. Turner: Timmy, are you hungry? A growing boy deserves something special, so I made-
Timmy: Broccoli? Squash? Spinach?
Mrs. Turner: I couldn't care less about foods that are good for you, or your colon. Tonight we're having candy! [holds up some lollipops] And for dessert, candy! [holds up a huge candy cane]

Mr. Turner: I bought a super-screen surround-sound television set! It comes with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys!
Timmy: Awesome! But that must have cost a lot!
Mr. Turner: You bet! I had saved that money to pay for your college education, but now I couldn't care less! [hands a remote to Timmy] How about a little Dimmsdale Sewer Gator?
[Timmy presses a button on the remote and ons the TV. A huge gator roars on the screen]
Mr. Turner: It's violent!
Timmy: It's educational!
Both: But mostly violent! Yay, violence!

Timmy: Hi, Dad! Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work? Or wearing pants?
Mr. Turner: Who cares? Pants are for squares, and I'm on vacation!
Timmy: I wish I could be on vacation, but I have math homework.
Mr. Turner: Hah, studying is for squares, like pants! Let's play frisbee instead!
Timmy: But, I don't have a frisbee.
Mr. Turner: We'll use your useless math book!

Timmy: Mom, what are you doing?
Mrs. Turner: [while dancing] Not cooking and not cleaning! Catch me! [leaps at Mr. Turner]
Mr. Turner: Not catching!

Timmy: You guys feeling okay? You're letting your fishbowl get awfully filthy.
Cosmo: You bet! I'm swimming in my own toilet, and I like it!

[Mr. Turner throws them into the toilet]
Timmy: Guys, guys! Change back to normal! Poof to Fairy World! Do something!
Cosmo: No way, man! I'm swimming in a real toilet, and I like it!
Cosmo & Wanda: Yay, toilets! [Cosmo and Wanda are flushed down the toilet]
Timmy: Oh my gosh! When I wished for parents that couldn't care less, it gave me godparents that couldn't care less too!

Timmy: [when he sees his dad cooking his goldfish] What are you guys doing? Those are my fish! You can't eat them! They're, uh...dirty!
Cosmo & Wanda: Hey!
Timmy: And chatty!

(Timmy jumps across lamp post then lands in a sumo wrestler's stomach)
Timmy: Thanks for having such a big squishy belly!
Mr. Turner: Timmy!
Mrs. Turner: Say "excuse me" when you jump out of a sumo wrestler's stomach!
Timmy: No! [jumps off the sumo wrestler's stomach and runs to the sewers]

Timmy: I wish I had a candle. [Cosmo and Wanda don't respond to his wish] Hello?
Cosmo: I'm sorry, did you mean us? [poofs up a candle that is not lit]
Timmy: A lit candle.
Wanda: Oh, wah! Do you ever stop nagging?

Cosmo: This episode was brought to you by the Society for Healthy Colons!
Cosmo and Wanda: Yay, colons!

[Two weeks later, Timmy is Impure and Unhygienic]

Chester: Dude, you reek!
Timmy: Ugh. Stomach hurts, Feel sick. But look, I got candy!
A.J.: And B.O...

[Everybody gets out of the lunchroom because Timmy is stinky.]

Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda, help!!!
Wanda: [wakes up from the wish] Oh no, Cosmo! He's going after Timmy!
Cosmo: So? [wakes up from the wish] Oh no! He's going after Timmy! Which I remember it's bad! NOW I CARE!!!
Wanda: ME TOO!!!

Prev. Ep.'s Quotes /// Ruled Out's Quotes \\\ Next Ep.'s Quotes