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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"Presto Change-O"
Season №: 5
Episode №: 75B
Airdate: October 6, 2005
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "Presto Change-O" from Season 5, which aired on October 6, 2005.


Script[]

[The episode begins with Timmy running into his bedroom as Cosmo and Wanda poof out of their fishbowl]

  • Timmy: (panicked) Guys! I need a magic device that will allow me to change bodies with someone else!
  • Wanda: Any other specifics you wanna toss out? Type of device? Color of device? The word "please?"

[The phone rings]

  • Cosmo: I'll get it! It's probably Mama!

[Cosmo poofs into the fishbowl and picks up the phone.]

  • Cosmo: Mama? It's me, Cosmo! Hello? (swims into the castle with the phone)
  • Timmy: What's with him?
  • Wanda: Mama Cosma's come down with a nine hour flu, and we have to go take care of her. For nine hours.
  • Timmy: WHAT? I can't be without my fairies for nine hours! That's like forever!
  • Wanda: No, nine hours with Mama Cosma is forever.

[Cosmo poofs back into Timmy's bedroom.]

  • Cosmo: Mama's not well, so let's hurry and take care of that super vague wish. One body swapping joy buzzer coming up!

[They poof Presto Change-O-Poof, to which Timmy now holds the buzzer-like device in his palm.]

  • Timmy: Awesome!
  • Wanda: Timmy, you aren't going to use this device to cheat, are you?
  • Timmy: Of course not! The fact that I'm wishing for a device that allows me to switch bodies on the day I have a test I haven't studied for is merely a coincidence!
  • Wanda: What?!? You can't do -

[Cosmo poofs a gigantic First Aid kit into Wanda's arms and she groans. Meanwhile, he's holding one tiny thermometer.]

  • Wanda: Timmy, we'll poof back at exactly four o'clock -
  • Cosmo: And then we'll all do something really fun and magical together, okay? (to Wanda) Now come on! MAMA NEEDS US! Chop chop!

[They poof out. Timmy looks at the buzzer in his hand.]

  • Timmy: A body-swapping joy buzzer. Thank you, Mama Cosma!

[Later in the classroom, Crocker is handing out tests. A.J. and Timmy are seated in their desks.]

  • Crocker: OK, children. It's time to do further damage to your once promising futures.
  • A.J.: Not mine! I studied!

[Timmy writes his name on his test, then reaches over to A.J. and extends his hand.]

  • Timmy: And to that, I say... congratulations, A.J. old pal!

[They shake hands as the buzzer were pressed. Then, they poof with the text, "PRESTO CHANGE-O POOF!" and their bodies were swapped: Timmy is in A.J.'s body, while A.J. is in Timmy's body.]

  • A.J.: (as Timmy) I feel different. Why do my teeth feel so heavy?
  • Timmy: (as A.J.) It worked. I'm in A.J.'s body and he's in mine, taking my test for me! Sweet!

[A.J. as Timmy zips through Timmy's test at lightning speed as they finish the test.]

  • A.J.: (as Timmy) Finished!
  • Timmy: (as A.J.) (shaking hands again) Good job!

[The buzzer poofs their bodies back to normal. A.J. looks down at his own blank test.]

  • A.J.: I thought I just did this! AGHHH!!! (beat) But on the bright side, my teeth feel as light as a feather!

[A.J. dives into the test again. Timmy leans back and smiles, blowing on his joy buzzer. In Mama Cosma's House, Cosmo and Wanda poof in. Wanda drops all the luggage.]

  • Cosmo: Mama! Mama! We're here, Mama!

[Mama Cosma floats on the sofa, in her bathrobe, with a hot water bottle on her head and a thermometer in her mouth.]

  • Mama Cosma: Yes, I can see that, Cosmo. There's no need to shout. Not in these... my last nine hours.
  • Wanda: So let the insults begin.
  • Mama Cosma: Wanda. You look lovely. Pink's such a good color on you. And the swirl - you really make it work. Have you lost weight?
  • Wanda: (defensive) What is that supposed to - Wait, did you just say something nice to me?
  • Cosmo: Oh no! She's delirious! It's worse than I thought! (pulls out paddles) CLEAR!!

[In the playground, Timmy walks outside and right into the fist of Francis.]

  • Francis: Hey, Turner! Time for your black-and-blue plate special.
  • Timmy: (considers buzzer) Well, it worked once... Put 'er there, Francis!

[Timmy grabs Francis' hand and uses the buzzer to swap their bodies. Timmy is now in Francis' body, and vice versa.]

  • Francis: (as Timmy, looking at his small hands) Huh? Why do I feel so small, and my teeth feel so big?
  • Timmy: (as Francis, looking at his gigantic hands) Ew. These knuckles are even hairier on the inside.

Timmy as Francis laughs happily as he beats himself up. He grabs Francis as Timmy's hands and poofs back to their bodies.]

  • Timmy: Good thing Francis is so dumb the pain registers slower than in more evolved life forms...
  • Francis: Huh? All right, Turner. Time for -

[Francis' body was beaten and crumpled over in a heap, then Timmy examines the joy buzzer.]

  • Timmy: No wonder they call it a joy buzzer! His pain is my joy! (turns and slams right into Crocker)
  • Crocker: What's that? A buzzer that causes joy? You know I don't allow joy! Or happiness. I'm not that fond of glee, either. But especially not joy. Now give me that!
  • Timmy: What? NO! THAT'S MINE!

[Crocker snatches the buzzer from Timmy. In the process he inadvertently touches Timmy's hand and poof as their bodies swapped. However, the joy buzzer remains in Crocker's hand as Timmy controls Crocker's body, and vice versa.]

  • Timmy: (as Crocker, dazed) Huh? Narrow hips, humped back? Oh no! I'm Crocker!
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Perfect vision, teeth that could chew the bumper off a van... I've either been turned into some sort of super beaver or I'm Timmy Turner! And this must be the work of his FAIRY GODPARENTS!
  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Uh...put 'er there, Timmy? (his hand sticks out holding the joy buzzer)
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Oh no you don't! That buzzer must trigger some sort of fairy magic! And now that I look like you, I can go to your house and search it for evidence of FAIRY GODPARENTS! And there's nothing you... I mean... I can do about it! HA! HAHAHA!

[He runs offscreen and Timmy as Crocker follows but runs into Waxelplax.]

  • Waxelplax: Crocker! Where are you going?
  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Home! To... uh... think about how much I like you?

[Waxelplax's grabs Crocker's ear and drags him into school.]

  • Waxelplax: Nonsense! (beat) You can do that in the Teacher's Lounge!

[Back in the playground, Crocker (as Timmy) sees Waxelplax has stopped Timmy (as Crocker).]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Ha! Now, off to Turner's hou- (runs smack into Francis)
  • Francis: (pounds his fists) Turner. I remember a beating. And I remember you. But I don't remember beating you. So, better safe than sorry. (picks Crocker as Timmy up)
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Put me down, abnormally large child! I'll have you suspended for this!
  • Francis: Suspension? That's a great idea!

[A beaten Crocker (as Timmy) hangs by his underwear from the top of the pole and he sighs. In the school hallway, Waxelplax drags a reluctant Timmy (as Crocker) down the hall by his ear.]

  • Waxelplax: Oh, Mr. Crocker. You've never sounded so youthful, energetic, or rational! Why are you still single?
  • Timmy: (as Crocker, to self) Um... what would Crocker say right about now... uh... uh... (freaks out) FAIRIES! (dives into Crocker's classroom)
  • Waxelplax: Oh yeah, that's why.

[In the classroom, Timmy (as Crocker) finds himself staring at a classroom full of students, who all stare back. He checks his watch.]

  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Uh... hi, class full of kids much younger than me. Today we're going to write a five word essay on what a jerk I am.
  • A.J.: You mean five hundred word essay, right?
  • Timmy: (as Crocker) No. Five. And anyone who takes more than two minutes to write it gets an "F!"

[Back in Mama Cosma's house.]

  • Cosmo: How are you feeling, Mama?
  • Mama Cosma: Weak. I think a foot massage would help. (puts her feet up and flies swarm around them)
  • Cosmo: I'll get Wanda right on that.

[Mama Cosma waves her wand and poof, to which that Cosmo has six hands.]

  • Mama Cosma: Nonsense. You've got six hands. Wanda dear, come sit with me. You deserve a massage too. Poor dear, you work so hard, floating and everything. Your feet must be killing you.
  • Wanda: (to Cosmo) She's so sick, she thinks she likes me!
  • Cosmo: Should we call a doctor?
  • Wanda: No! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm not going to lose it. So warm those hands, Frosty. These feet aren't going to massage themselves!

[Wanda sticks her bare feet out as she joins her. Wanda and Mama laugh. Later, in the playground, Crocker as Timmy is slowly lowering himself down the flagpole with the rope, which is tied to his underwear.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Wow, that was a super wedgie. The next time a child comes crying to me about one of those I'll have a point of reference. (lands and resets his position) I still have time to waddle uncomfortably to Turner's house and discover his FAIRY GOD-
  • Tootie: (voiceover) Oh Timmy!!! Where are you? I love you!!

[A lasso appears in the scene and wraps around him as he is yanked offscreen.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Curse you and your infernal charms, Timmy Turner!

[Class was ending and most children flood in the hallway.]

  • Kid: You're the best teacher ever, Mr. Crocker!
  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Don't forget, Monday is "Kick Me Below The Belt For Extra Credit" day!
  • Crocker: (as Timmy, enters roped, covered in lipstick kisses) You!

[The bell rings and Crocker as Timmy runs in the hallway.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Well, time flies when you're having... FAIRIES!
  • Timmy: (as Crocker) OH NO! I have to get home before exactly four o'clock or Cosmo and Wanda will poof in and reveal themselves to Crocker, thinking he's me!

[Back in Mama Cosma's house, Mama Cosma's got some color back, but she's still faded.

  • Wanda: (concluding a story) And then I said, that's not a tree stump -
  • Wanda and Mama Cosma: That's Cosmo!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
  • Mama Cosma: Oh, Wanda, you are such a delight.
  • Wanda: I am, aren't I? Why not say it again once I turn on this video camera?

[Cosmo poofs in, wearing a hazmat suit.]

  • Cosmo: (bravely) Ready for your sponge bath, Mother.
  • Mama Cosma: Finally! But first, I think Wanda needs more tea. Wanda?
  • Wanda: Don't mind if I do. Chop chop!

[Crocker's Van drives erratically down the street. It's covered with tree branches, garbage cans, a bike tire and all other things Timmy as Crocker hit along the way. He parks the van, then backs it up so it's parked beneath a "No Parking" sign. Timmy as Crocker hops out and laughs. He runs to the front door and pulls it open, revealing Mr. Turner and Mrs. Turner.]

  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Hi Mom and Dad... of Timmy Turner!
  • Mr. Turner: You! Back to try and steal my wife again, eh? With that sudden youthful glow about you even I'm almost susceptible to your hump-backed charms! Almost!! (hurls Timmy as Crocker out onto the sidewalk)
  • Crocker: (as Timmy, rushes past him) So good to be home. My home. The one full of FAIRIES!
  • Mr. Turner: Welcome home, Timmy Turner, undisputed son of mine! I'll bet you'd like to go straight up to your room!
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Yes! Yes! Yes!
  • Mr. Turner: Well, you can't, can't, can't!
  • Mrs. Turner: You've got a lot of chores to do young man! And Vicky's here to make sure you do 'em while your father and I get ready to go out and have fun!
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Vicky? Who's Vicky?

[Vicky enters.]

  • Vicky: Hello, Obvious One and Only Twerp! Look who I brought for you to play with? DOIDLE!

[She whips out Doidle, who growls at Timmy.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Doidle? What's a doidle?
  • Mr. Turner: Good heavens, son! Doesn't that hunchbacked dream of a teacher teach you anything?

[Timmy (as Crocker) sneaks around the house.]

  • Timmy: (as Crocker) Five minutes to four! I gotta get upstairs!

[Timmy (as Crocker) starts to climb the tree leading to his bedroom window. Moments later, the branch breaks. Timmy (as Crocker) screams and plunges through the scene, landing offscreen on the ground with a groans. He rubs his butt.]

  • Timmy: (as Crocker) This was easier when I didn't have a hump getting caught on the branches. What did I fall on? (pulls the joy buzzer out of his back pocket and gets an idea) Hey!

[Back in Mama Cosma's house, Mama Cosma and Wanda are being served dinner by Cosmo, who's dressed like a maid. Behind them, a clock. It's almost four.]

  • Mama Cosma: Did you cook this, Wanda? It smells delicious!
  • Wanda: Still sick.
  • Mama Cosma: Mmmm! And it tastes delicious!
  • Cosmo: Still sick.

[The clock turns to four and Mama Cosma's face goes from pale green to a normal color.]

  • Mama Cosma: But you know what would be really delicious? Cosmo divorcing you or you going to prison. Or both!
  • Wanda: Well that was fun while it lasted. She's fine. We're gone.
  • Cosmo: Bye Mama!

[Inside Turner Residence, Crocker (as Timmy) enters living room.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) The trash is out, and there are no fairies in the backyard or kitchen. Can I go look for fairies in my room now?
  • Mr. Turner: Not until you're done with your homework.

[Crocker (as Timmy) starts working. Mr. Turner peers over his shoulder.]

  • Mr. Turner: Why are you giving yourself an F already?
  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Sorry. Force of habit.

[The doorbell rings and Mr. Turner opens it to Crocker (as Timmy).

  • Mr. Turner: Hey, I thought I told you to -

[Timmy (as Crocker) grabs Mr. Turner's hand and shakes it to swap their bodies. He grabs the buzzer from Crocker.]

  • Crocker: (as Mr. Turner) - stay outside while I quickly run upstairs to my son's room!
  • Mr. Turner: (as Crocker) This can only be the work of... LEAD-FILLED WRITING INSTRUMENTS!

Timmy (as Mr. Turner) slams the door, turns around, and runs right into Mrs. Turner, who is already dressed up. She pulls him toward the door.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Time to go have fun with the man I married, whom I'd know anywhere!

Timmy (as Mr. Turner) grabs Mom's hand and changes their bodies.]

  • Timmy (as Mrs. Turner): Whoa! I'm retaining water!
  • Mrs. Turner: (as Mr. Turner) Whoa! That's weird. I feel as though I've given up on my dreams!

[Timmy (as Mrs. Turner) grabs the buzzer from Mrs. Turner (as Mr. Turner) and runs for the stairs, where he slams into Vicky.]

  • Vicky: Everything's under control, Mrs. Turner. You go have fun while I fire up the woodchipper. I mean, turn on the TV.

[Timmy (as Mrs. Turner) grabs Vicky's hand and changes their bodies.]

  • Timmy (as Vicky): I'm going to need a bath after this one.
  • Vicky: (as Mr. Turner) Ahhh! I feel old!
  • Crocker: (as Mr. Turner runs past Timmy (as Vicky)) Last one to the bedroom's a rotten... FAIRY!
  • Timmy (as Vicky): Come back here, Twerp! (beat) That is kinda fun to say.

Timmy (as Vicky) grabs the buzzer and give chase, but trips over Doidle. They both land on the buzzer and swapped their bodies.]

  • Timmy (as Doidle): Bark! Bark! Bark! (grabs the buzzer in his mouth and races up the stairs)

[In Timmy's bedroom, Crocker is searching the room frantically from drawers, closet, under the bed, and etc.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Dirty socks! Moldy food! Picture of me on a dartboard... I'll make a note of that for later... where are the FAIRIES??

[Timmy as Doidle bursts into the room.]

  • Timmy: (as Doidle) (voiceover) I'm going to hate myself for this.

[He runs up to Crocker (as Timmy) and starts jumping playfully.]

  • Crocker: (as Timmy) Ah, I never could resist the unconditional love of you cute little scamps.

[He bends down to pet Doidle and, of course, hits the buzzer to swap their bodies back to their own bodies.]

  • Timmy: (in his normal body, inspects himself) Buck teeth? Pink hat? The knowledge I've messed up again? Yes! I'm back!

[Wanda and Cosmo poofs in.]

  • Cosmo: Yes, we're back, your magical fairy godparents!!!!

[Crocker (as Doidle) barks madly. Timmy reveals a steak and tosses it out the window. Crocker (as Doidle) leaps after it.]

  • Crocker: (as Doidle) Curse me and my animal instincts.

[Crocker (as Doidle) crashes outside of the window offscreen. Timmy runs to Cosmo and Wanda.]

  • Timmy: I know I've got a lot of explaining to do but just work with me here. I wish everything was back to normal!

[Cosmo and Wanda poofs the joy buzzer and reverts everyone back to normal.]

  • Timmy: Whew! That was close. I am never going to use magic to cheat on a test again!
  • Wanda: I'm glad you've learned your lesson, sport.
  • Timmy: I sure have! Nothing good ever comes from cheating!
  • Crocker: (as Doidle, barks offscreen) BARK! BARK BARK! BARK! BARK!

[Outside Turner Residence, a furious Crocker (as Doidle) barks his head off. Then, Dr. Snipowitz walks into scene.]

  • Dr. Snipowitz: Wow! You sure have a lot of energy little guy! (takes Crocker (as Doidle) and scoops him in a net) I guess we'll have to fix that again!

[Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda watches him at the window.]

  • Timmy: Although, that's pretty good.
  • Dr. Snipowitz: (voiceover) TO THE NEUTER SCOOTER!
  • Crocker: (as Doidle, barks) YIPE!!!!!!!!!

[As Croker is chased by Dr. Snipowitz, the scene iris out.]

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