|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|Airdate:||March 30, 2001|
Timmy: This is quiet, too quiet. [something moves] What was that? [carrots start flying]
Wanda: Timmy, look out!
Cosmo: That's double the daily recommended supply of beta carotene!
[Timmy is dodging the carrots]
Cosmo: I'm hit, a lot!
Wanda: Look out! They're coming closer! They're... They're...
[The shadowed figures reveal themselves to be cute ninja bunnies.]
Timmy: Ninja bunnies? Ugh, that's it, helmets off.
[Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda take their virtual reality helmets off.]
Cosmo: [covered with holes from the carrot attack] Look at me! I'm cheese!
Wanda: Something wrong, Timmy?
Timmy: Fuzzy bunnies? What am I, four?
Vicky: Hey, I heard happy! What's going on in here?
Timmy: Uhh, nothing. Just playing video games.
Vicky: Well, keep it down. You know when I'm watching you, I'm watching something on TV!!
[The door is slammed shut. The fishbowl is magically unharmed, with Cosmo and Wanda stuck inside]
Cosmo: That was close!
Wanda: No, this is close.
Cosmo: I'm chafing!
Timmy: I need to go to the bathroom, guys. While I'm gone, please fix this game. No bunnies, no ponies; make a game that will scare the pants off me.
Cosmo: But, you'll be in the can! You'll already have your pants--
Wanda: Why don't you wish for exactly what you want and we'll do our best?
Timmy: I wish for a video game that's challenging, a game that you can't wish yourself out of!
[Timmy leaves for the bathroom.]
Cosmo: That wish is just vague enough to work!
Wanda: But we're gonna need a lot of power to make it work!
[Cosmo and Wanda plug their wands to the electricity plugs and put on welding masks and thick gloves.]
Cosmo: One tough video game coming up!
[Cosmo and Wanda make their wands collide with each other, and they proceed to make the game. Since they took up so much power to make it, the power surges in all of Dimmsdale before turning back on again. Meanwhile, Chester and A.J. are walking outside.]
A.J.: What was that?
Chester: The power surged.
A.J.: Every light in the city dimmed.
Chester: That can only mean one thing.
Chester and A.J.: [yelling in excitement] Timmy's got a new video game!
[Both Chester and A.J. are entering the house. Meanwhile the game is made and starts up.]
Wanda: I hope Timmy likes his new game.
[The door has been kicked open by Chester and A.J., breaking the fishbowl again.]
Chester: Hey! Where is he?
A.J.: Timmy always goes to the bathroom at 6:13.
Chester: That's weird... He always struck me as a.. 7:43 whizzinator.
A.J.: Cool! Virtual reality helmets!
[Chester and A.J. put on the helmets, transporting them into the newly-made game. Cosmo and Wanda suddenly show up.]
Wanda: Well, that's not good.
Timmy: [running into the room] Hey! What's up with the power surge?
Cosmo: Shh, shh! Look! Chester and A.J. are on TV!
[Zoom into the television, where Chester and A.J. are on level one.]
Chester: Hey! This is weird! Usually Timmy's games are filled with fuzzy bunnies.
A.J.: I know! What is he, four?
[Chester and A.J. are laughing, angering Timmy.]
Timmy: Those creeps! Wait 'til I reset them!
Wanda: No! If you turn the game off while they're in there, or if they lose their three lives, they'll disappear forever.
Timmy: What? Then I wish them out of the game!
Cosmo: Um, Timmy, we can't, remember? Quote: I wish for a game that's challenging--a game you can't wish yourself out of. Unquote.
Wanda: You either win the game or take off the helmet.
Timmy: You guys don't do anything halfway, don't you?
Wanda: Nope. We're two halves of a whole idiot!
[The power begins to surge again.]
Timmy: Oh, no! [runs out of the room and sees Vicky turning a lamp on and off in the living room] The video game is using so much energy that anything Vicky plugs in could turn off the power and turn the game off! [runs back to his room] Those two are goners unless they get them out of there! Guys, keep Vicky from using any more power. I'm going in. [puts the virtual reality helmet on]
Cosmo: Uh, he's just being vague again.
[Cut to Vicky plugging in a multitude of devices.]
Vicky: And this is the TV, and this is the VCR, and this is the DVD, and this is the surround sound, and this is the combination microwave popcorn maker and neck massager, and I don't know what this plug does, but I AIN'T PAYIN' FOR THE ELECTRICITY! [plugs in the last plug and goes to watch TV]
[Transformed into hamsters, Cosmo and Wanda appear in the living room.]
Wanda: We can't let her plug all those things in! She's gonna blow the power!
Cosmo: Let's go! [pulls out all the plugs] Follow me to the TV, I have an idea!
Wanda: [pulls out a notebook and pencil] Wednesday, March 22nd: Cosmo had an idea!
[Wanda goes after Cosmo, and they both magically enter the TV. Vicky sits in the chair and turns on the TV. The show "I Love Wanda" is airing. A black and white show appears, and while Wanda is in the living room rocking a baby, Cosmo bursts in.]
Cosmo: Waa-nda, you got some splainin' to do!
Wanda: Even though that's not the way everybody says "explaining," I respect our differences and your right to say it in the way you want.
Cosmo: Eh, babaloo?
Wanda: That, too.
[Cosmo and the baby held in Wanda's hands start crying.] Vicky: Boring! [changes the channel]
Wanda: And now, here's Cosmo with the weather.
Cosmo: ...I thought you said feather. ... [smiles]
[The channel changes. Cut to the video game, where Timmy has just entered level one.]
Timmy: Cool! The electric shredder balls of doom! Man, Cosmo and Wanda really made this game a lot... [Timmy is hit by a shredder ball] ...tougher. [disappears and reappears, losing a life] I lost a life! In level one! What am I, four?
[Cut to the unplugged plugs. The scene spans over to the TV and Vicky. She changes the channel, where Wanda is the host who appears to be interviewing Cosmo.]
Wanda: Just let me clarify this--you married your car.
Cosmo: Yep! Now my kids get seventeen miles to the gallon!
Wanda: And we'll be right back!
[The channel changes. Cut to Timmy running through level one. He is dodging electric spheres.]
Timmy: If I'm not careful, I could get killed! ...Neat! [the game begins to grow slightly dim] Oh, no! Another power surge!
[Cut to a scene of a ravine with a horizontal ladder acting as a bridge. Chester and A.J. are crossing the ladder when the power surge erases the ladder for a brief second before having it reappear again. Chester is able to survive, but A.J. falls and loses a life.]
A.J.: AAAAAH! [falls to his death and loses a life]
[Cut to a scene of level 8's entrance. Timmy jumps into the watery looking entrance and ends up in an underwater house.]
Timmy: Huh... This looks like an underwater version of my Aunt Gertrude's house.
[Two eyes pops out behind the sofa and a giant lobster version of Timmy's Aunt Gertrude appears.]
Aunt Gertrude: Hello, Timmy! Let Aunt Gertrude pinch those chubby cheeks of yours!
Timmy: I hope she means my face!
[Aunt Gertrude tries to grab Timmy but fails. He dashes to a "Wanda coin" and grabs it, causing Wanda to appear.]
Wanda: I'm a Wanda coin! You may have one wish.
Timmy: I wish I had cheeks of steel!
Wanda: I hope you mean your face.
Timmy: I do!
[Wanda changes Timmy's cheeks to steel. Aunt Gertrude pinches his steel hard cheeks hard(the ones on his face,) and the force shatters her to pieces. The scene is then cut to Vicky changing channel. Cosmo appears on the screen on a stage with a red curtain.]
Cosmo: It's a show about nothing! ...How do we know when it's over?
Vicky: I do. [changes channel, and Cosmo is seen again and there is a voiceover describing him.]
Narrator: His velvety voice and beautiful lyrics have moved many generations.
Cosmo: The wheels on the bus go around and round!
Narrator: He has a talent that will fill your heart with joy.
Cosmo: There was a farmer who had a dog and BINGO was his name, OH!
Vicky: Man, there is nothing on today!
[Cut to the Classroom of Doom level. Chester and A.J. appear there.]
A.J.: Wow, the Classroom of Doom level!
Chester: Hey, look! [points down, where many janitors are seen with sharp pointed cleaners held in their hands.]
Chester: Apparently, if you don't pass this class, you spend the rest of your life as a janitor.
A.J.: There's a lesson in that.
Timmy: Guys, I've found you!
Chester: Hey, Timmy! Great game, dude!
Timmy: We've gotta get outta here!
A.J.: No way! This is the greatest video game ever!
Timmy: But we only have two lives left!
A.J.: So? It's not like if we get wasted in here, we disappear forever, right?
Chester: [smugly] Besides, I have three lives.
[A.J. pushes Chester off the desk, making him lose a life.]
Timmy: Stop! [Chester reappears, furious] Guys, we have to stick together! [Chester tries to throw A.J. but Timmy grabbed A.J. before he got thrown] Only together, through the power of teamwork, can we...
[Chester and A.J. runs to the end of the level.]
Chester and A.J.: Wow, come on! I'm on top of the desk! Whoo-hoo!
Timmy: Argh... [chases after them]
[Cut to the downstairs living room. The TV screen has gone black.]
Vicky: What the heck is wrong with this thing?! [pounding the remote on the couch]
[The screen zooms out. It goes inside the TV, with Cosmo and Wanda in hamster forms]
Cosmo: I'm all out of ideas!
Wanda: Well, easy come easy go.
Vicky: No wonder nothing's working. All the plugs came out!
Cosmo and Wanda: Oh, no!
[Cut to Vicky plugging in the plugs again. She turns on the TV, causing a power outage.]
Wanda: Oh no, the power's out! Timmy!!! Cosmo?
[Wanda poofs away to Timmy's room. The hamster-transformed Cosmo is running on a treadmill to power up the TV.]
Cosmo: I had another idea!
Wanda: [pulls out notepad and pencil and writes] This was a magnificent day for Cosmo! Way to keep the power going, sweetie!
Cosmo: [breathing] Good thing I'm more hungry than tired.
[Cut to a scene showing the entrance to the final level. Timmy, Chester, and A.J. are dashing to the entrance.]
Timmy: Guys, wait! We REALLY need to stop playing!
Timmy: Uh... I have to go?
A.J.: No, you don't. You just went at 6:13.
Chester: Besides, we only got...
Chester and A.J.: ONE LEVEL LEFT!!
[The three of them enter the level, which happens to be Timmy's living room]
Timmy: Hey, we're in my living room! Phew, we're finally out of the game.
A.J.: How anti-climatic.
Chester: Yeah, what a gyp.
[Timmy puts his hands on his head only to feel his helmet.]
Timmy: Oh no, my helmet's still on! We're still in the game!
[The ground begins cracking, forming a large, lava-filled crevice in the floor. A humongous robot version of Vicky appears from the hole.]
Robot Vicky: Ahahaha! Well, Well, looks like I'm having three helpings of TWERP for dinner!
Timmy: Guys! Take off the helmets! Quick!
Chester: Don't freak, dude! We still have two more lives left.
[Robot Vicky crushes the three with her foot, losing one life per person.]
Chester: That is one BAD babysitter.
Robot Vicky: Time to BABYSIT! [shows off her mecha-butt, which has been replaced with a roll of spikes.]
Timmy, Chester, and A.J.: AAAAAAH!
[Robot Vicky tries to crush Chester and A.J.]
Timmy: NOO! They'll be gone forever!
[Timmy sacrifices his last life to save Chester and A.J. from Robot Vicky. The scene cuts to the TV showing the scoreboard of the game.]
Wanda: OH NO! That was Timmy's last life!
Cosmo: [sobbing] It's all your fault!
[Cut back to game.]
Chester: Whoa! He gave his last life for us!
A.J.: Even virtually, that was pretty cool.
[Cut back to scoreboard. Timmy's score is still counting up to 50,000,000 points.]
Wanda: Hey, if Timmy's gone for good, why is his score still going up?
[Cut to Chester and A.J.. Miraculously, Timmy reappears in the game.]
Timmy: I'm alive?!? But how?!
Chester: Sacrificing your lives for us--
A.J.: --Must have given you enough points for a free man!
Timmy: Cool! Let's rock!
[A Cosmo coin behind Vicky catches the eye of the three.]
Timmy: A Cosmo coin! [Robot Vicky blocks the coin and growls] Guys, we've got to get that coin! Go!
Robot Vicky: Fear my sitting butt!
[A.J. is standing there when Robot Vicky is about to crush him. Timmy throws a pillow to A.J., who then uses it as cover from the attack.]
A.J.: Wow, that's comfy!
[Robot Vicky tries to eat Chester, but Timmy throws a cupboard at Robot Vicky, slowing her down and saving Chester. The three dash to the coin.]
Timmy, Chester, and A.J.: Beautiful!
Timmy: The coin!
Robot Vicky: [Vicky growls and sends two missiles off her mouth at the three] Bye-bye, twerp!
[Chester manages to catch one of the missiles and throws it to the other, causing both to get destroyed. Timmy jumps on A.J., who gives him a boost.]
A.J.: Goo, Timmy!
[Timmy manages to grab the coin, which then transforms into Cosmo.]
Cosmo: I'm a Cosmo coin, and boy, am I glad to see you.
[Cut to Wanda running on the treadmill, generating enough electricity to keep the game on.]
Wanda: This'll be great for my glutes!
[Cut back to the game, where Timmy has activated the Cosmo coin.]
Cosmo: Whatcha need, sport?
Timmy: I wish I had something to stop Vicky!
Cosmo: Hey, that's just vague enough to work!
[Robot Vicky almost crushes Cosmo and Timmy when Cosmo suddenly poofs up a door that opens, allowing Mr. and Mrs. Turner to enter.]
Mrs. Turner: Oh, Vicky! It's us.
Mr. Turner: Timmy's mom and dad!
Mrs. Turner: We're back!
Mr. Turner: You can go home now.
Robot Vicky: NOOO!!! [melts into a powerless puddle]
[Cosmo gives a "thumbs up" before finally disappearing. Timmy, Chester, and A.J. take off their helmets. Wanda disappears from the treadmill, and the TV says "GAME OVER" before it turns off from the lack of power. Cosmo and Wanda poof into the fishbowl before it's shattered by the opening of the door again.]
Vicky: All right, game over. You twerps are OUTTA HERE! Timmy's has to rewire the house because I CAN'T WATCH MY SHOWS!!!
Chester: Later, dude.
A.J.: Bye, Timmy! See ya tomorrow!
[Both Chester and A.J. leave the room.]
Timmy: Hey, Vicky, why don't you watch your shows on this? This virtual reality helmet puts you right into the middle of your favorite programs.
Vicky: Gimme that. [puts on the helmet and enters the game] Cool! The Tetherball channel! Oww, ow, ow, ow, ow!
[Pan to Cosmo and Wanda, transformed back into goldfish.]
Cosmo: [to Wanda] High fin!
[Cosmo and Wanda wiggle their fins but are unable to reach each others' fins.]
Wanda: How about a kiss instead?
Cosmo: I'm game.
[Cosmo and Wanda smooch. Vicky's cries of pain can still be heard from the TV.]
Vicky: Hey, is that Timmy's Aunt Gertrude? OWWW!! Ahahahaha...