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|The Fairly OddParents episode transcript|
|Airdate:||February 26, 2011|
- [The episode begins at The Turner's House.]
- Mr. Turner: [humming]
- [Mr. Turner picks up a newspaper from his front door. He begins to read it.]
- Mr. Turner: [gasps] What!? "Cloudy With A Chance of Rain"? This could only be the work of...
- Dinkleberg: Morning, Turner!
- Mr. Turner: Dinkleberg!
- [Transition to the master bedroom. Mr. Turner is walking out of his closet, and whistling.]
- Mrs. Turner: Honey, your tie doesn't match your shirt.
- Mr. Turner: Gah! Dinkleberg strikes again!
- [Transition to the kitchen. Mr. Turner is pouring milk into a bowl, but only a drop comes out of the carton.]
- Mr. Turner: We're out of milk! Dinkleberg has gone too far this time!
- Timmy: I think maybe you're overreacting a little.
- [Mr. Turner is wielding a chainsaw and wearing a mask.]
- Mr. Turner: Why? Just because I'm cutting my bagel with a chainsaw? [He cuts his bagel with the chainsaw. He then scrawls "CURSE YOU DINKLEBERG" onto the cupboards.] Curse you, Dinkleberg!
- Mrs. Turner: [she pours shredded wood out of her cup.] Honey, thanks for the extra fibre, but I don't know why you keep blaming Mr. Dinkleberg for everything. He's a perfectly nice neighbor.
- Mr. Turner: Get away from your mother, Timmy! Dinkleberg's put a computer chip in her woman brain and turned her against us! DINKLEBERG, I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING! AND AS SURE AS I EAT MY BREAKFAST IN A HOCKEY MASK, YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!
- Timmy: Well, so much for having a normal childhood. Anyway, I'm gonna go to school.
- Mr. Turner: No you're not!
- [Mr. Turner grabs Timmy, jumps on the table, and presses a button on a remote, which causes the table to act as a lift and move upwards, crushing Timmy and his father against the ceiling.]
- Mr. Turner: Note to self: Install a hatch above hydraulic lift!
- [Transition to a secret base. Mr. Turner presses various switches and levers.]
- Timmy: Didn't this used to be my room?
- Mr. Turner: Not anymore! Welcome to Operation: Dinkleberg! For years, Dinkleberg has fooled everyone with his phoney good-neighbor act. Lending people cups of sugar, nursing those baby birds back to health, donating one of his kidneys to save my life! Like I'd really fall for that. Timmy, it's time to expose Dinkleberg for the monster he really is!
- Timmy: Uh-huh, and how exactly are you gonna that?
- Mr. Turner: We, Timmy. We! We're going to do it! We'll watch that fiend 24/7 and catch him in an act of evil! Until then, you're not leaving my side... except when I go to the bathroom to try out my new kidney.
- [Mr. Turner leaves the room. Timmy's fairies poof into the scene.]
- Timmy: Guys, what am I gonna do? If my dad's with me all the time, you can't grant my wishes. Ah! I'll have to do things for myself!
- Mr. Turner (off-screen): Gah! No toilet paper!? Dinkleberg has struck again!
- Wanda: Relax, sport. Your dad can't obsess about Mr. Dinkleberg forever.
- Cosmo: Yeah! He's not that crazy.
- Mr. Turner: Code: Red! Code: Red! The chicken has left the hen house!
- Timmy: Is that spy talk for "Dinkleberg is on the move?"
- Mr. Turner: No, it's spy talk for "My pants are down around my ankles." Oh, no! Dinkleberg's heading to his evil lair! Switching to inside cameras... I forgot, we don't have inside cameras. [gasps] Do you know what this means, Timmy?
- Timmy: I hope that means you're gonna pull up your pants now.
- Mr. Turner: There's no time! Besides, that's just what Dinkleberg would want me to do. We've gotta get a camera inside Dinkleberg's house... [Mr. Turner pulls out a girl scout costume for Timmy] ...and you're just the girl to do it.
- [Timmy walks over to Dinkleberg's house.]
- Mr. Turner (over microphone): Goldilocks, this is Papa Bear. Do you read me?
- [The screen briefly turns into a split-screen between Mr. Turner and Timmy.]
- Timmy: Yes, Dad.
- Mr. Turner: It's "Papa Bear!" And use the girl voice we practiced.
- Timmy (in girl voice): Right, Dad.
- Mr. Turner: Who is this?
- Timmy (normal voice): It's Timmy, Dad!
- Mr. Turner: Call me Papa Bear! Now, remember the plan, every cookie in that box has a tiny camera and a microphone in it. All you have to do is to get Dinkleberg to buy those cookies!
- [The screen turns back to normal. Timmy knocks on Dinkleberg's door. Dinkleberg opens it.]
- Dinkleberg: Well, hello, little Cream Puff girl.
- Timmy: Uh, hi, Mr. Dinkleberg.
- Mr. Turner (over microphone): Do the voice!
- Timmy (girl voice): Would you like to buy a box of lemon creamy cookies?
- Dinkleberg: Anything to help the Cream Puff Girls. I'd give you a kidney but I only have one left.
- [Transition back to Operation: Dinkleberg.]
- Mr. Turner: Look, Timmy! It's Dinkleberg's evil lair!
- [We see a shot of Dinkleberg eating a cookie from one of the hidden cameras.]
- Mr. Turner: Ooh, it's shaped like a small intestine! With meatloaf walls and corn on the floor.
- Timmy: That is his small intestine! He ate the cookie!
- [A toilet flushing is heard off-screen.]
- Mr. Turner: We've lost contact! You know what this means?
- Timmy: I can never unsee what I just saw?
- Mr. Turner: No, it means you're going back in!