(Timmy is being held upside-down, having his pockets emptied by Francis in front of his classmates)
Timmy: Could this humiliation get any worse?
Tootie: You leave Timmy Turner-- my one true love-- alone, you big gray BULLY!
(Francis and other students laugh)

Francis: [to Timmy] You gonna let a little girl fight your battles for you, Turner?
Timmy: Uhh... Only if she wins!

Timmy: Is there anything worse than having your dad fight you battles for you?
(Mr. Turner lands on ground headfirst next to Timmy, beaten)
Cosmo: Yeah, having him lose your battles for you!

Francis: Thanks for the house, losers!

Mr. Turner: Eh, look on the bright side, we can always stay in the tree house!
Mrs. Turner: What!? We are NOT living in a tree house!
Tootie: Timmy! I couldn't help overhearing your dilemma, you can always stay with me!
Timmy: [to his mom] I'll get the sleeping bags!

Mr. Turner: Timmy, it's time I teach you to fight your own battles, and more importantly MY battles!

Mr. Turner: Good thing I landed on this nice soft mom!

Timmy: [reading the kung-fu book] Rule number one: Kung-Fu must always be used defensively, never for vengeance. To heck with that, I'm gonna kick his butt! [tosses book out the window]

Wanda: Timmy, you don't know anything about Kung-Fu.
Cosmo: Or dignity.

Old Man: Help, we can't cut our meat!
(Timmy arrives and cuts up their steaks with his karate chop)
Timmy: You're on your own with your mashed potatoes.
Old Woman: I hope those fists of fury were washed!

Billy Blanks: Heh, pretty good kid. What's your own?
Timmy: Timmy. Timmy Turner.
Billy Blanks: Thanks Timmy Turner. Now give me five!
(Timmy extends his hand)
Billy Blanks: ...hundred push ups!
(Timmy hits the ground and starts doing push ups)
Billy Blanks: With these cinder-blocks on your back!
(Billy drops two cinder-blocks on Timmy's back)
Billy Blanks: While I break it with my bare hand! And play this piano with my bare feet!
(Billy does exactly that)
Timmy: That was amazing!
Billy Blanks: Keep pushing!

Francis: Turner? Is it beating time already!?
Timmy: I want my families' stuff back, Francis, and tomorrow... We're gonna fight for it!
Francis: And what do I get if I win? I already got your car, your house, [pours ice cream on Timmy] ...your dignity. What's left to take?
Tootie: [wearing binoculars] Nothing but his goldfish, ha-hah!

Francis: What's a matter, Turner? Scared you'll lose your fish?
Tootie: No he's not! He's not scared of anything! He'll see you tomorrow morning at EIGHT O'CLOCK!
Timmy: Yeah, what she said!
(Francis grabs Timmy's goldfish bowl)
Francis: Good, after I win 'em, I'm going to eat 'em, then kill 'em!

Timmy: A chain belt!? You study karate?
Francis: I teach it. Can we pick this up? I've got two beatings, three bludgeonings, and an intimidation this morning... and I don't want to be late for lunch. I'm having fish.

Timmy: You've taken my home. You've taken my dignity. And now, I'm taking... My revenge! HiiiYAAAH! [tries to kick Francis, gets thrown into a tree]

Timmy: What's going on?
Wanda: Well, we're having a little issue with the rules.
Timmy: What? Lemme see.
(Wanda poofs up Mr. Turner's kung fu book)
Timmy: That's not the rules, that's Dad's stupid kung-fu book!
Wanda: Well, it's the rules of Kung-Fu, and rule number one says Kung-Fu must always be used defensively, never for vengeance!
Timmy: What!? You mean I can't fight!? Then Francis is going to take you guys too?
Cosmo: Actually, he's going to win us fair and square by pounding the poop out of ya.

Mrs. Turner: Timmy! No!!
Mr. Turner: He'll eat you, then kill you!
Timmy: You don't think I can do it?
(Tootie tunnels through the ground out next to Timmy)
Tootie: I do Timmy! I think you can do anything! [Francis grabs her] OOF!
Francis: You wanna fight Turner's battles for him? Fine, that means you get the next punch!
Timmy: You'd hit a girl?
Francis: It's in my book.
Timmy: As creepy as she is, she's still the only one who believed in me and-- I WON'T LET YOU HURT HER! HIYAAAH!
(Timmy saves Tootie and starts beating up Francis)
Timmy: Hey, magic belt and headband are working again.
Wanda: That's because you're fighting to defend Tootie, instead of to hurt Francis.
Cosmo: Yeah! Loopholes rock!

Timmy: Let's dance!

Mr. Turner: He's been practicing! It's like he's fighting for my car!
Tootie: It's like he's fighting for my love!
Mrs. Turner: And for me to live in the manner to which I've become accustomed!

Timmy: You forgot the first rule of Kung-Timmy, Francis. What goes around-- comes around!

Mrs. Turner: My house!
Mr. Turner: My car!
Tootie: MY HERO!!! [grabs Timmy and kisses him] Mwah mwah mwah-
Timmy: My restraining order!
(Tootie stops kissing him and looks at him weirdly)
Timmy: ...has expired.
Tootie: YAY!! [pounces on Timmy] Mwah mwah mwah!

Mr. Turner: (watching a beaten up Francis clean up the mess he created on the Turners' house) That's right, animal boy, I want every bit of graffiti scrubbed from my walls! Don't make me get Timmy out here!
Francis: Huh!? [sobs and starts scrubbing faster]
Mr. Turner: Heeey, I can use my son as a threat!
Mrs. Turner: Don't forget to take out the garbage, dear!
Mr. Turner: Aww, why do I have to take out the garbage?
Mrs. Turner: Don't make me get Timmy out there!
Mr. Turner: [fearful] Right! Garbage, I'm on it!

Wanda: What's the matter, Timmy?
Cosmo: Yeah, you got all your stuff back, and your back in your house, we thought you'd be happy!
Timmy: It's not that guys, it's just this whole thing started because I didn't fight my own battles, and even though I beat Francis, I only did it because you helped.
Wanda: So? Everyone has something that gives them an advantage.
Cosmo: Yeah, Francis has his freakishly large body, premature pubescence, and his inbred cruelty... and you have us!
Wanda: It's how you use your advantage that matters, and you used us for good!

Timmy: I love you guys! [goes to hug Cosmo and Wanda]
(Cosmo grabs Timmy's arm and tosses him with a karate move, Wanda glares at him)
Cosmo: What!? You saw how he went for me! He was asking for it! At least he landed on his mom.

Mr. Turner: He'll eat you, then kill you!

Prev. Ep.'s Quotes /// Kung Timmy's Quotes \\\ Next Ep.'s Quotes