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Emotion Commotion! (transcript)

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(Episode begins at the Dimmsdale City Pool) (one kid was on the low dive, another one on a medium dive, and Timmy was on the high dive)

  • Timmy: Come on, Turner. You can do it. Trixie is watching. You can do it.
  • Tad: Come on, Turner. What are you, scared and poor?
  • Timmy: Yes, I'm scared! And I'm not poor, I'm middle class! (walks back of the board but Francis was behind him)
  • Francis: Boo! (Timmy screams and jumps off the board)
  • Denzel Crocker: Ahh, finally, no kids around to spoil my day. (Timmy screams and lands above Denzel Crocker) (Trixie holds up a 3, Tad holds up a 2, Chad holds up a 4, Veronica holds up a 3, and another person holds up a 0) (Timmy gets out of the pool but appears naked)
  • Trixie: Aah!
  • Tad: Wow, now he's scared, poor, and naked. (Timmy holds Trixie's 3)
  • Timmy: This is so embarrassing. (all the kids laugh him) (cuts to the Turners' house with Timmy hiding under the bed)
  • Wanda: Aw, come on out, Timmy. I know you're still embarrassed, but it's a natural emotion.
  • Timmy: That's the problem, emotions reek. I was afraid to dive, Francis scared me off the board, and I was embarrassed because I was naked in public! (growling)
  • Cosmo: So, what's wrong with being naked in public? (he's naked too, but Wanda poofs his clothes on)
  • Timmy: Emotions cause me nothing but grief. In fact, I wish I had no emotions. (Wanda and Cosmo grant the wish and the emotions go out of Timmy's head and the emotions fall into the "Timmy's Emotions" box) That was weird.
  • Wanda: How do you feel, Timmy?
  • Timmy: I do not.
  • Cosmo: Perfect. And now, since I know it can't hurt your feelings, (laughs) You were naked! In public! Naked!
  • Wanda: Aw, what the heck? (laughs) Naked! (cuts to the bus stop where kids are laughing at Timmy and he gets on the bus)
  • Veronica: Well, look who decided to wear clothes today. (laughs, but then stops) Personal insults not working! Aaah! (falls off) (Timmy sits at a seat next to Trixie)
  • Trixie: Hmm. I'm ignoring you. I said, "I'm ignoring you." Stop ignoring me ignoring you! (shakes Timmy and he falls)
  • A.J.: You can ignore me, Trixie. Yay! It's working! (cuts to Denzel Crocker's classroom)
  • Denzel Crocker: For today's vocabulary quiz, watch Turner's naked performance on last night's episode of "Dimmsdale's Most Embarrasing Videos" and describe it with words that begin with the letter "U". (in the video there through his body and kids laugh at him)
  • A.J.: Uncoordinated?
  • Sanjay: Unacceptable?
  • Chester: Un... un... he was naked. (laughs)
  • Denzel Crocker: Pretty embarrassing, eh, Turner? Don't you want to wish yourself away using your FAIRY GODPARENTS? How does that make you feel?
  • Timmy: Uncaring.
  • Denzel Crocker: Oh? We'll see how uncaring you feel about this. (presses button to change into Virtual Crocker) Here's your first virtual F. How do you feel about that?
  • Timmy: Uninterested. (Denzel Crocker sobs and falls) I'm hungry. (walks on Denzel Crocker and he groans, the other kids run on him)
  • Trixie: He's so unfeeling. That makes him cool. (Trixie walks out too)
  • Wanda: Wow, Timmy. You must be pretty happy.
  • Timmy: What is happy?
  • Wanda: Oh, yeah, right. Your emotions are back with Cosmo. I wonder how he's doing. (cuts to the Turners' house when Cosmo tries to catch the emotions)
  • Cosmo: Anger, stop hitting Happiness. Fear, get out of under the bed. Envy, Jealousy, quit arguing over who loves love more.
  • Bravery: Woo-hoo! (dives from up the roof)
  • Cosmo: Oh, great. Bravery's on the roof again. (Bravery groans) (cuts to the Dimmsdale Elementary School and kids are running out except Timmy who is walking)
  • Wanda: Sport, has it occurred to you that...
  • Timmy: Being the coolest kid in school is a hollow victory if you don't have emotions to enjoy it with?
  • Wanda: No, I mean, yes. How did you figure that out?
  • Timmy: Without my emotions I'm thinking quite logically. For example, the reason why they couldn't build a boat on "Gilligan's Island" is because it would end the series. The reason they can't build an airplane out of the same material as the little black box because it would be too heavy to fly. And obviously, the chicken came before the egg. All right, go get them. I'll take my emotions back.
  • Wanda: I'll go get your emotions. Just don't do anything dangerous and stupid while I'm gone.
  • Man: Hello, Timmy Turner. I've been watching you.
  • Timmy: So?
  • Man: So, you're just the fearless, emotionless, naked kid I need to carry on my tradition of incredibly dangerous and stupid stunts. Want to jump the Dimmadome on a motorcycle?
  • Timmy: Whatever.
  • Man: Man, you're cool! (takes Timmy with him)
  • Man in the van: I told he was cool.
  • Another man: I heard that in the agency bathroom. (cuts to the Dimmadome)
  • Doug Dimmadome: Welcome to the Dimmadome! I'm Doug Dimmadome.
  • Crowd: Doug Dimmadome?
  • Doug Dimmadome: That's right, Doug Dimmadome. And I present you, the boy without fear, or happiness, sadness, shyness, joy, love, or any other emotion, Timmy Turner! And he's going to the jump his motorcycle over the Dimmadome through a flaming hoop, and a giant pair of scissors! How's that make feel?
  • Timmy: It doesn't.
  • Doug Dimmadome: You're weird.
  • Timmy: How come you're not jumping this?
  • Man: Are you nuts? I'll kill myself! Good luck, though. (Timmy jumps his motorcycle over the Dimmadome through the hoop and the scissors and yawns, the crowd cheers) (the men put their thumbs up) (cuts to Timmy going home but another man grabs him)
  • Man: Timmy Turner, we've been keeping an eye on you. You're just the sort of the fearless, emotionless kind of kid we need at the agency.
  • Timmy: To do what?
  • Man: To catch the most scary, diabolical spy of all-time, Dr. Vulcan.
  • Timmy: Sounds challenging.
  • Man: Oh, here's how good he is. He's already figured out we've contacted you, snatched your best friend and the girl who's been dating him for revenge, and taken them to his lair inside this partially extinct volcano.
  • Timmy: So?
  • Man: Wow, the bathroom did not lie. Let's roll. (cuts to towards Dr. Vulcan's island) You'll jet to Dr. Vulcan's island, sky-dive to shark-infested waters... (sharks come and roar but Timmy's not scared)
  • Shark: He's not scared.
  • Shark 2: He's weird! He's weird!
  • Man: Then swim to the island, walk slowly onto the beach, and stare at the volcano. (Timmy yawns) Pull out a grappling hook, twirl it, and throw it out-screen. After that, you climb the north side of the volcano. Then you unicycle on the tightrope through some giant scissors and pedal to the other side. (Timmy pedals on the unicycle and stops when he gets to the other side) Excellent. Now, just one last thing. Dive into the lagoon, through some more giant scissors and turn off the hidden underwater power switch. Just think of it like a dive at your local pool, except much higher, with jagged rocks, alligators, piranhas, a whirpool, a tornado, and one really angry tourist.
  • Tourist: The service here stinks!
  • Timmy: No problem. (he was about dive, but Cosmo and Wanda showed up)
  • Cosmo: Hi, Timmy! Here's your emotions back.
  • Timmy: Cosmo, no, wait. I... (emotions muttering) Ahh! I'm scared to dive! I feel guilty to I got my best friend and the girl who has been dating him for revenge in trouble, and I'm super mad at somebody for not waiting to give me back my emotions!
  • Cosmo: Yay! It worked! I'm so emotional! (sobbing)
  • Timmy: I can't do this! (ring)
  • Man: Do I need to remind you he's got your best friend and his girlfriend?
  • Chester: Ahh! I knew it! I knew having a girlfriend would be nothing but trouble!
  • Wanda: Come on, Timmy! You can do it! Having courage means you're willing to jump to the rescue depsite the fact you're afraid.
  • Timmy: Why don't you do it?
  • Wanda: Are you nuts? Those piranhas will kill us. Good luck, though.
  • Timmy: I got to this. AAAAAAAAH!
  • Wanda: Timmy! Wait, why didn't he just wish Chester and Trixie free?
  • Cosmo: Oops! I forgot to return his common sense.
  • Common sense: Whatever you do, don't jump! (newspapers show from DimDaily showing that Timmy saved Chester and Trixie) (cuts to the Turners' house)
  • Wanda: Oh, Timmy, I'm proud of you. You learned that it's better to live with your emotions than without them.
  • Cosmo: As opposed to those piranhas. Then it's better to live without.
  • Timmy: Speaking of which... (takes a piranha from his ear)
  • Cosmo: Look! A souvenir! So I guess you're still mad that I brought your emotions back too soon?
  • Timmy: Of course not. (puts piranha in fishbowl and piranha roars at Cosmo)
  • Cosmo: Timmy, help!
  • Timmy: Are you nuts? That piranha will kill me! Good luck, though.

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