- Dark Laser: [acts out various charade moves]
- Mr. Turner: You want to buy a sock monkey? You want to buy ALL my sock monkeys!?
- Mr. Crocker: Fairy! You're a fairy! And I'm capturing you! FAIRIES!
- Dark Laser: [shakes his head, and continues charades]
- Mrs. Turner: Ohh, you're capturing Timmy, throwing him into a bag, releasing him into space, destroying the Earth, and then moving on with your life!?
- Dark Laser: That's it! [everyone laughs]
- Abraham Lincoln: I've always found honestly the best policy when dealing with adversary.
- Timmy: Yeah, well not me, Abe.
- Dark Laser: Aren't you too young for lipstick?
- Tootie: Don't push my buttons, bub, and I won't push yours.
- Tootie: [floats out of the house] Night dreamy Timmy.
- Timmy: Oh for crying out loud, if I kiss you will you go home?
- Tootie: On the lips!
- Timmy: Cheek.
- Tootie: But I can tell my friends it was on the lips..?
- Timmy: Fine! [kisses her]
- Timmy: [dully] Welcome to Turner family restaurant, can I take your order?
- [Vicky, Francis, and The Headless Horseman are seated.]
- Vicky: We'll take the fried twerp... [customers pull out weapons] TO GO!
- Timmy: Yep, that figures.
Crocker: I want your fairies!
Dark Laser: I want to destroy you and move on with my life! Isn't that right Flipsie?
- Crocker: And now I want to check out. [screams and runs to his truck that transforms into a jet that flys and crashes.] Ooofff! Darn!
- Timmy: [After Wanda accidently vaporizes Dark Laser] Whoa, too far!
- Dark Laser: [Wanda brings him back to life] Ok, ok, ok! [kneels] I surrender to your sock monkey army! I'll check out! [pushes button and his suit becomes a dress] Ah, wrong button!
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